The Definitive List of Best Halloween Candies, Ranked


It sure doesn’t feel like it here in eastern Iowa with several inches of snow on the ground and temps well below freezing, but today is Halloween. That means a couple things.

First, of course, it means lots of spooky decorations around the neighborhood and all the kiddos roaming in costumes fantastic, terrible and everywhere in between. But more importantly, it means absurd amounts of candy for all parties.

But, just like the costumes, there are varying degrees of good when it comes to Halloween candy. Some of it is nearly inedible and other candy is delicious enough to consume an entire bag of it without a second thought (what, you guys do that too, right?).

If you’re anything like me, you take this glorious night as an opportunity to teach your kids a quick lesson about life, liberty and of course, taxes. The night should start with an in depth discussion about target candy when trick-or-treating. What color wrappers are on good candy? What shapes do you just avoid? Daddy wants the good stuff, baby!

At the end of the night, Uncle Sam mom and dad take their 25% cut and you kids get to keep living under our roof. Everyone wins!

But which candy, exactly, are the kids targeting to avoid getting a lump of coal from Santa? Let’s dive in.

For starters, any self-respecting candy connoisseur divides things into two distinct categories and for storage purposes, you should do the same: chocolate-based and everything else. We’re starting with the former.


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